17. Why Navigating Motherhood Without Your Mother Feels So Hard

There’s something people don’t talk about enough: how utterly alone, lost, and overwhelmed you can feel when you’re raising children without the presence or support of your mother. 

In today's episode, join Alyssa Carlene as she breaks down the emotional and psychological loss of navigating motherhood without your mother. Even though there is deep pain, there is also hope and healing!

Listen to the episode to answer the following questions: 

• Why does it feel so devastating and tragic to navigate motherhood without my mom?
•  Am I broken because I still long for a mom I never had (or still don’t have)? 
•  Where do I even start when it comes to healing from not having my mom’s support? 

1. Want to join a supportive, heartfelt community with other moms who are also navigating motherhood without their mothers? Join our Facebook Group today!

2. Are you ready to build confidence and emotional resilience as a mom, even without the support of your mother? Access the free video training now: Five Steps to Navigating Motherhood Without Your Mother!

3. Want to chat more about what it's like to mother without your mom and get personalized support? Send Alyssa Carlene a DM on Instagram!

Transcript

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Why does navigating motherhood without your mother feel so hard? If there's something I wish people talked more about, it would be how utterly alone, lost, and overwhelmed you can feel when you're raising children without the presence or support of your own mother. And it's not just hard, it's devastating. Is this you? Is this how you feel? Because if it is, this episode is for you. And I want you to stay tuned because your feelings are valid and they don't always have to be this way. You can thrive and you can heal. You're listening to Navigating Motherhood Without Your Mother. Here, we help moms with young children who lack support from their mothers to make peace with the past, build confidence in their present role, and break harmful generational patterns for the future through the five-step Roots Framework. My name is Alyssa Carlene. I am a motherhood empowerment and generational healing coach. My mission is to help you discover the root causes of your struggles so you can foster emotional resilience and create a healthy, loving home environment for your family please remember that my podcast content is for educational purposes only and should never replace proper medical and mental health guidance from licensed professionals let's get started in each episode that I've had I've touched a little bit on the why right the why this does feel hard but I wanted to dedicate an entire episode to about it because there are layers of the emotional and psychological loss that comes with navigating motherhood without your mother. So today we are talking about this and we are going over these big pain points that really need to be spoken about and validated so that you can understand that you are not alone in this and that there are ways that you can heal and move forward with hope. So let's get into this, okay? When you're navigating motherhood without your mom, you can feel a loss of safety. Like you have no emotional safety net because if you can't fall back onto your mother, then who are you going to fall onto? Nobody can quite replace your mom. And this is the hard, difficult thing. It's hard for me to admit. It's hard to talk about because it's true, right? Nobody can really replace your mother. But you can find... I don't know if I want to say other substitutes. You can find other ways to bring... motherly influence into your life, to bring safety into your life. Another thing, the loss of legacy. If you're navigating motherhood without your mom, maybe you feel like you don't have traditions that you can pass down, values or wisdom from your mom. The loss of identity, raising kids, and you're trying to reparent yourself. That's difficult. Then we might have some unhealed wounds from the past. Motherhood is going to bring up everything that you never processed. And then lastly, isolation. It might feel like everyone else around you has help, guidance, or somebody to call and you don't. You're not just dealing with the day-to-day demands of motherhood. You could be carrying this ungrieved loss, unprocessed trauma even, and unmet needs from your own childhood. It's not about being strong enough. It's about trying to grow roots in the ground that was never nourished. Now, I understand that everybody's situation is different. Everybody's reality is different. But for me personally... I have not had the support of my mother really at all. I don't even talk to my mother very much. So her presence in my life is very little. I know that there are some whose mother may have passed away and that's a whole different scenario. But the reality is that both situations, scenarios, there's the pain of of not having what you would like. So that brings loneliness. That brings questioning your own worth, your own abilities and capabilities. Or maybe if you're on the one hand where you're navigating motherhood without your mother because of estrangement, you're afraid of repeating cycles. Another thing, you might feel resentment toward other moms with supportive families. You see the list can go on and on, right? There are so many pain points for women like me. And if you're listening, you most likely like me struggling with these things. So I want you to know that it's real. And I do feel like it's something that we don't talk about nearly enough. So here is the hope, right? Because if I ended the episode right here, that would be a really negative, really down, sad episode. But you're not stuck. The truth is that you can overcome and you can become the mother you needed. And it starts with recognizing that your pain is real and you don't have to do it all by yourself, right? So the roots framework really is my proven process, okay? And I've talked about it here and there in different episodes, but it is the exact process I used to move from survival mode into a grounded, confident place as a mom. And I'm in the process of creating a free resource to help you take your first steps in this process as well. So if you would like access to this free resource when it becomes available, please DM me on Instagram the word roots. R-O-O-T-S. Roots. And if you'd rather just wait until next week, the next episode is going to be all about this free resource, which is a video training. And I'll have much more information on where you can download that. from there. So it's up to you. I would love to hear from you either way. My Instagram is an awesome space that we can connect. I am trying to build a community and in the coming weeks, I will also have a Facebook group coming. And I know I said that in an episode months ago, but this is all happening. Things are coming together. So I really am excited and I hope that you know that you are not broken this is all you becoming and just because you don't have the support that you need right now from your mother doesn't mean that you can't become the support that your children deserve you are capable and every day it's just one step at a time so