6. How to Build Confidence in Your Abilities as a Mother

Are you ready to build confidence in your abilities as a mother? 

In this episode of Navigating Motherhood Without Your Mother, Alyssa Carlene empowers you to develop deep self-trust while fostering your self-worth. She shares why building confidence can be difficult for motherless mothers and all moms in general. Best of all, she provides an incredible reframing statement along with helpful practical applications. 

Listen to the episode to answer the following questions: 

• What would it feel like to have more confidence in myself and my mothering? 
• What are some ways I can build confidence in my motherly abilities? 
• Where can I turn for support when I experience doubts and fears about myself as a mother? 
• How has my past shaped the way I see myself as a mother? 
• How do I trust my instincts as a mother? 

1. Want to join a supportive, heartfelt community with other moms who are also navigating motherhood without their mothers? Join our Facebook Group today!

2. Are you ready to build confidence and emotional resilience as a mom, even without the support of your mother? Access the free video training now: Five Steps to Navigating Motherhood Without Your Mother!

3. Want to chat more about what it's like to mother without your mom and get personalized support? Send Alyssa Carlene a DM on Instagram!

Transcript

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All right, mamas, I don't know about you, but some days I have silly, trending audio snippets from social media stuck in my head. You know, like the top songs or funny lines from TV shows or movies that people use in their clips. Well, have you heard the one that goes, she's an icon, she's a legend, and she is the moment? This phrase randomly popped into my head while I was planning this episode. And it made me think, who is a confident mom that you know? I want you to imagine her. Someone who walks in the room with her kids by her side, and she is bold. She models deep trust in her abilities, decisions, and most importantly, her worth. She knows that she's not perfect, but she is made for this. She's determined to be the best mom she can possibly be, even in times of doubt. Well, take a look in the mirror because believe it or not, this mama is you. You are innately, intuitively, divinely designed to be a confident mother. And trust me, I get it. We don't always feel this way. So today we are talking about solid ways to build that confidence and see yourself as you truly are. An icon, a legend, the moment. You're listening to Navigating Motherhood Without Your Mother. Here, we help moms with young children who lack maternal support to heal childhood wounds and break harmful generational patterns through the five-step Roots Framework. My name is Alyssa Carlene. I am a motherhood empowerment and generational healing coach. My mission is to help you heal the root cause of your struggles so you can learn to regulate your emotions and create a healthy, loving environment for your family. Let's get started. Hello, hello. It is always a pleasure to have you here. Today, we are talking all things confidence in motherhood. By the time we finish the conversation, you'll have gained key takeaways like why confidence is hard as a motherless mother, and for all moms in general, a specific reframe for you to apply, accompanied with practical tips to build your confidence muscles. That's right. Building confidence in your motherly abilities is like working out your muscles. It's also like creating a solid, healthy habit. Ask anyone who works out consistently. It takes time, dedication, and sacrifice. So why is confidence hard for moms who lack maternal support? Well, for me, it was that I was not properly mothered. So the example that my mother left for me was not a good one. And it's left a poor, horrible taste in my mouth. And as a child, I subconsciously developed a fear that I would somehow be just like her, which I didn't realize until I did trauma work a lot later on. The absence of a maternal role model creates serious self-doubt. Or maybe it's a little different for you. Maybe your mother is more present in your life, but there are things that you do not want to repeat in your mothering. Wherever you are at with this level of maternal support, your confidence needs to come from within. And I repeat, your confidence needs to come from within and not because of past experiences, the example of your mother, genetics, and harmful generational patterns. Another reason why building confidence in motherhood is so hard is because we've got motherhood plastered everywhere for everyone to see online. And in my experience, it feels like the majority of the time, it's just the highlight reels. There are mommy blogging channels and pages that portray absolute beauty and bliss from the very beginning, pregnancy, birth, all of it. And it's not to say that beauty and bliss does not happen during these stages, right? But I've even seen pictures of rooms with huge piles of laundry or a messy kitchen, and somehow it still looks and feels better than my life. Why is that? I mean, we've got to ask ourselves, why? Why do we feel that way? Because I know I'm not alone. You guys, social media is not real. It's like, logically, I know this. I can comprehend. I can think, okay, this isn't real. This is fabricated. But psychologically, something deeper is happening. Social media makes comparing ourselves to other people, especially other moms, a really easy thing to do. And I don't think that we were ever meant to know this much about everyone else's lives. So when we get caught up It stings. It hurts to feel like you're constantly seeing all the good that's going on in everyone else's lives and then feeling extremely isolated and your confidence falls. So whenever you catch yourself in the dreadful place of comparison, I want you to first acknowledge your feelings. You need to sit with them and you can talk to them with someone. You can write something down. Whatever you do, Acknowledge and feel because if you suppress, nothing good is going to come from suppressing. And then I want you to find a way to stop the harmful thoughts or patterns in their tracks. So you feel the emotion. Then maybe it's literally putting your phone down or unfollowing someone or starting to repeat affirmations out loud or in your mind like, I am an amazing, confident mother. I am enough. Another thing I want to add here is that childhood wounds and internalized beliefs can be obstacles to confidence building. But just because it's an obstacle doesn't mean that you can't work your way through it. So here is that specific reframe that I wanted to provide for you. It's just these words right here. These are so powerful. You are more capable than you think. So you can turn that into an I am affirmation. I am more capable than I think. I am more capable than I realize. It's such a powerful reframe because it opens the door to endless possibilities. We get to recognize at that point, okay, I have strengths. What am I already doing in my mothering that's working really well? You get to acknowledge that. You can also acknowledge how these past challenges have prepared you to be a resilient mother. Because on top of the confidence building, the resilience is going to add to that feeling of accomplishment, that feeling of oneness within yourself and within your mothering and your intuitive mothering. your abilities, everything that is. And you'll recognize that trusting your instincts is very, very core to all of this and that your connection with your child is unique and you can't compare that connection from any other mother and child. Like you are your child's mother. It's a phenomenal, beautiful thing. And to tell yourself, I am more capable of In fact, I think it's even better to say I am more capable than I realize. It just opens you up. So I love that. So think about that. Put it on your mirror. Put it in a, I don't know where, put it on a sticky note. I am more capable than I realize. And that confidence will continue to build. So some other practical ways, right, that we can build this confidence. We can do journaling and self-reflection. We can talk about like, for example, something that if you're really, really struggling with this, I would recommend going and journaling all of your most incredible accomplishments that you've ever had in your life, not just in mothering, but in your life. And then when you get to the point that you became a mother, write these things down and you're going to realize, wow, Wow. Okay. I've actually done all of these incredible things. Then you can seek that support. You can find a community and you can celebrate small wins with each other. I know I've been talking about this. If you've been listening to my episodes in the past, I'm in the process of creating a Facebook group. And this is a place where we will do that. We will celebrate each other. We will celebrate these wins big or small. And then of course, lastly, affirmations, self-talk, like we are shifting from doubt to empowerment, the I am statements, the I am capable, I am capable. So I think it's fun to end on the note of a prompt and you could write in your journal about this question or you could just simply sit with it for the rest of the day and But I want you to think about a moment where you felt really capable, like a really capable, loving mother and what that felt like. And then I want you to think, how can you remind yourself of that strength when all of a sudden the doubt, the self-doubt, the negative thought patterns creep in? This is a really important thing and a really incredible thing that you can do as we continue to reframe our mindset. Like I said, building these muscles, boosting our confidence. Go back to what you know. Go back to the time in your mothering where you were like, man, that was a really tough day, but I did it and I was resilient and I reached out to my children in love and I was the best mom that I could possibly be. Remember, confidence is the deep trust and belief in your own abilities, decisions, and worth. It's not about knowing everything or never making mistakes. It's about trusting that you can handle challenges, learn and grow along the way. In motherhood, confidence means embracing your unique journey, recognizing those strengths, and knowing that you are the best mother for your child, no matter what, period. So believe it, feel it, know it. And please, if you enjoyed this episode, I want to hear from you. I want to connect with you. Follow me over on Instagram at alissa.carleen.rogers. I'm so excited to have you with me on this journey in navigating motherhood without your mother. Please tune in, subscribe, and thank you. Have a great rest of your day or night.

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